Adios For Now

Well, the time is upon us. We are officially headed back home tomorrow. I realize now that I had not written anything at all about these plans. I think I was in denial. The kids and I are going back to our home in Oklahoma so that Lula could go to school in her old school. When we arrived here in March we put her into a preschool and she did not adjust well at all. We were worried, but thought things would get better. They didn't. So, we decided to go home so she could have stability and routine. The bad parts are that we have to leave CJ here to finish his work and we have to leave behind our good friends Muffy and Elle that I told you about the other day.

CJ left yesterday afternoon with all I could cram into the minivan and arrived this evening. 1282 miles in 1 1/2 days. Yuck. I hate that he drove across the country by himself. I called him every few hours just to make sure he was ok. Still, this was a better alternative to the kids riding in the car for what would surely would have taken us four days if had done it that way.

It has been a hard week full of dread for the inevitable. Muffy and I tried to get together nearly every day (not that that is a new occurrence) and we had lots of fun.

Tuesday night we went to dinner at Muffy's. My gal cooked a fabulous meal of BBQ pork, hash brown and corn casseroles and a broccoli salad. She also made a "dump cake", which was also DEE-LISH! I can't wait to serve it at my next book club meeting!

I made Muffy's daughter Elle a photo album of the summer's events and gave it to her Tuesday. I hope it helps ease the pain of goodbye and to keep her feeling connected to Lula so they can remain friends. I also gave Muffy a photo in a "Friends" frame of the two of us, hoping for the same result. I gave her one of those musical cards, too. She opened it and heard the first three notes and turned red in the face and the tears flooded her eyes. It is Michael W. Smith's "Friends" song. I wrote a heartfelt message inside, but she didn't get to read it because Elle took the card and began opening and closing it so all we heard over and over again was "Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's a Lord of them". It became torturous! We were both crying, but laughing at Elle's fascination with the card at the same time. Thank God for four year olds that lighten a mood!

Today we spent the entire day together and had lots of good food, laughs and eye rolls at our daughters' fits of who would be the leader and who wouldn't take turns with whom. We did some shopping and let the girls play at the mall play area. It was a good day. We stayed at their house until LG was about to meltdown mode due to tiredness(I neglected to allow him to get a good nap today in order to stay w/ the girls).

Saying goodbye was agony. We both began crying about ten minutes before we actually even started out to the car and it was downhill from there. We have vowed to stay in touch and get together when possible. I hope we do. I have two other friends in the world to date that I would hold to this caliber of friendship and I feel truly blessed to have found a third.

So with all of that said, I must bid you all ado for now as I will be without Internet for at least two weeks. Sorry for the lengthy post tonight, but sometimes there is just a lot to say.

Please check back with me in a couple weeks as I am sure I will have some eventful story to tell about the trip home! Flying by myself with a four yo and a one yo should be verrrry interesting!! Take care ya'll!

The Time is Drawing Near

I am up to my eyeballs in piles of stuff and it is making me crazy. I am trying to figure out what we can fit into our minivan to send home with CJ. I have packed all the clothes I want to take, gathered kitchen items I need and cleaned out the bathrooms.

I now need to tackle the toys.

Now, we have plenty of toys remaining at home, so I think I only need bring Lula's most favorite things. I know what most of them are, but I wanted to give her the opportunity to help me sort which toys to leave behind for the movers to bring home in a couple months. She flat refuses. I don't know if she just doesn't want to have to choose or if she just doesn't really care, but I am a half inch from doing it myself and letting her live with the choices I made. It is getting down to the wire and I need to be ready. CJ wants to leave in less than 24 hours. AGHHH!

It totally does not help that I would so much rather hang out with my friend Muffy and her daughter, Elle! Every chance I get to steal away for a while to be with them, I nab it! I am to the point now that I would almost rather stay up all night tonight if it meant I could spend another afternoon with Muffy. I am going to miss her soooo much! We went to lunch today and the feeling of impending departure and the sadness that it brings was palpable. I hate saying goodbye!

I try so hard to hide my sadness thinking that it will make her feel better, but I think I realized at lunch that she would actually be more comforted if I let my feelings be more known.

So here I am telling the world that I love her and she is the only reason I don't want to leave Montana! True friendship is hard to find and I feel so lucky to have her and it is tearing me up to have to leave! Muffy, when you read this, please know that I am crying with you right now! I love ya, girl!

I hope Muffy is prepared for the fact that I will be on her doorstep early Friday morning to go to breakfast at Wheat Montana and won't be leaving her side until she either asks me to go or I am forced to put my children to bed!

Karma Stinks

Literally. I left my sweet one year old boy in his crib fussing-- but not crying, for probably ten minutes or so as I wrote the previous post.

BIG. MISTAKE.

My oh-so-cute boy has figured out how to remove his own diaper. And of course he didn't do it when he only had to go #1.

No. My adorable child did it when he had everything to give!

As I ran the bath water I searched for the camera to quickly snap a blackmailing photo of the "Naptime Pooper", but found it had no battery. I charged it while he was in the tub and was able to get one snapshot by the time he got out. It doesn't have him in it, but his favorite blankie was in there, so it will be no question at his graduation "who dunnit".

I'm not really sure what I did to deserve this little bit of Karma. Maybe I haven't done it yet. Maybe the amusement I will draw from showing this picture to as many friends and family as I can when he is a teenager has caused some weird cosmic force to spin around on me today. Who knows. Who cares. It's gonna be fun!

Now please excuse me as I go serve my penance and clean up that stinky mess!

A Mountain of Sin and 5 Gold Stars

After I posted yesterday I decided that there was only time before husband arrived home to either clean up a bit or fix dinner, but not both.

I wasn't wild about the idea of cooking the chicken. I cleaned up. I didn't get it all done, but I made a really good dent in the mess. I called CJ after twenty minutes of Lula whining that she was starving. I figured we could get a pizza or something when he got home. When I told him that I had only had time to do one major task he asked which we needed to work on when he got home (Gold Star #1). I told him I hadn't made dinner and he asked if I wanted to call in an order to our favorite Italian place. (Gold Star #2)

I called in the order and waited patiently through more whining about starvation for him to arrive. I was just starting to think he decided to drive past the house and head for Mexico (I wouldn't have blamed him at that point) when I heard the garage door. (Gold Star #3-just for coming home)

My dear husband walked in carrying the bags that smelled so wonderful that Lula and I both flocked to his side to get a look as quickly as possible at the scrumptous viddles inside. CJ pulled out all the delicious Italian food I had ordered plus a truly yummy looking piece of turtle cheesecake and a piece of bread pudding. (Gold Star #4)

The food was delicious and I was so grateful to have such an understanding and gracious man to share it with. The evening was looking up and I was feeling oh-so-much better when he did it.

He got Gold Star #5.

He stopped at one of Billing's most expensive restaurants and picked up a "Mountain of Sin". This is a delectable and chewy brownie topped with a mound of the most mouth watering chocolate mousse and the whole thing is drizzled with caramel. WOW! I love this man!!!

So I traded in the chicken for some much needed Italian food topped off with sin so good you want to do it every night of the week! A great deal for a very lucky girl.

F5 Tornado Strikes

Ok. I know that I was feeling validated. I still do. But today when CJ gets home, he will see that an abnormally violent tornado hit our house and there is no possible way I can clean it up in the hour and a half until he gets home.

I am having a garage sale and Lula was outside with me for much of the morning. I put LG down for his nap and Lula came inside to have "quiet time". I came in after closing up the sale and found that not only had quiet time not occured as planned, but every toy she has had been removed from its shelf/storage space/box.

My house looks like the aftermath of Katrina without the water damage. (Please, no disrespect to anyone who actually lived through that horrific event.)

I am flustered and angry and today is one of the days I wish I had a full time job outside my house so my kids wouldn't get the chance to tear it up day after day after day after day!

I called CJ to ask him what we should have for dinner in hopes that he would say he would pick up a pizza or chinese take-out. Instead, he said, "How about some chicken?" Siiigh.

CLuck, cluck.

Let Me Count The Ways

Puke. Spit up. Blow chunks. Spew. Upchuck. Vomit. Throw up. Toss yer cookies. Lose yer lunch. Pray to the porcelain god.

These are all the ways I could think of to say someone got sick, but all are ways that LG did it the past four days. Except, of course, for the porcelain god part.

He's one, so the toilet never got the privilege. That belonged to me and his daddy.

I can take it. CJ however, not so much. For the last three nights, CJ would take the baby to his room and try to feed him his nightly bottle. Each night I thought, "it just may work tonight". And each night after about five minutes I would hear, "JJ!!!!!!!". I would quickly run to my squeamish husband's aid to find a child grinning from obvious relief and a husband grimacing with disgust.

After I mopped up as much as I could and took the child, my gagging spouse would bolt from the room and about 6 seconds later I would hear the shower turn on. Only after 15 minutes of scrubbing would he emerge to say "that is DISGUSTING!"

To his credit, he can catch the stuff in his hands now with no problem, but if his shirt gets soaked....it's all over. He really was quite the trooper the last few nights, but last night he calmly said to me at bedtime, "You wanna give the bottle to him?"

LG took his bottle and went to bed peacefully without a single drop reappearing. Mama's touch? I wish I could take the credit, but I think the tummy bug has finally left. We'll see tonight when CJ resumes bedtime bottle feeding. I'll let ya know.

All You Do Is Clean

CJ stayed home from work sick the other day. He was actually recooperating from a restless night that resulted from what we think may have been some bad KFC, so he was really just resting and trying to work up the courage to eat something...anything.

The kids and I went about our normal day, which I classify like this: Wake, Eat, Play, Eat, Play, Eat, Play, Eat, Play, and Eat some more. Everything else, to me, is just the obligatory stuff that goes without saying. Of course, I try to be a diligent mom and my kids recieve balanced meals and nutritious snacks, but when you put it like that, it does sound as if I am trying to raise hogs for slaughter instead of healthy children! I digress.

Anyway, CJ observed this whole routine for the first time since we have been married. Ordinarily when he is sick, he is holed up in the bedroom and rarely sees the light of day. This day, he was on the couch and very aware of all that was going on. He informed me at dinner last night that he had come to the conclusion that aside from the required feeding rituals, all I do is clean.

Apparently, he noticed that in between all the eating, I seem to never sit down for more than a few minutes because I am constantly cleaning something or picking something up or putting something away. He noticed that I do this and all the while have a tornado following behind me creating more messes to be cleaned or put away.

I must say that I have an incredible feeling of validation right now! I just know that there have been many days that he has come home and must have wondered what in the world I had been doing all day because it certainly wasn't cleaning the house! Now he can understand that those are just the days that I can't keep up with the tornadoes! Most days when he gets home from work, the house is picked up, the dishes are done and dinner is on the table. These are the days that he must have imagined that I actually stopped watching tv long enough to get something done. Or perhaps, in his obliviousness that is "man", he thinks that supervising the children and keeping a house is effortless. Yeah, riiiight. Now he knows.

Now for all of you out there that are married or in a relationship with a man, you know that their memories are about as long as a yardstick cut in half; so I don't expect my validation to continue indefinately. But I am reveling it in right now while it lasts!

Our Birthday Week

Well, it has been an eventful week around here! My in-laws came in on Thursday. We were so excited that they took time out of their very busy lives to come stay with us. We had a wonderful time visiting and playing with the kids. We took lots of pictures and video and I plan to document this special time in a scrapbook for them which I intend to give them at Christmas. It is a grand plan. Let's see if I can execute it.

The weekend was very full. We busied ourselves preparing for LG's first birthday party (to coincide with my own)on Friday by shopping at the mall where Grandma was extremely generous at Gymboree.


Saturday was a whirlwind of Farmer's market, cake decorating, present wrapping, last minute trips to the store and the noticeable absence of CJ while he shopped for my birthday gift. Nothing like waiting till the last minute, huh? It was so tiring that we all needed naps, but CJ and his dad were the only ones who were so lucky.

LG's party was a hit and although I set out to recreate the cake CJ had for his first birthday; lack of a good photo and sketchy memories made that impossible. I improvised and came up with what was a good likeness with my own twist. I was not completely happy with the cake, though.

I thought the locomotive was a bit too plain and would like to have added more candy embellishments, but didn't have the time or resources to do so. LG could have cared less! He was so NOT into the party scene! He liked the birthday singing, but had absolutely no use for the cake. He stuck his fingers in timidly and decided immediately that frosting all over his hands and face was something he wanted no part of. He played in it for a bit, but I think it was more out of a fascination with everyone staring and laughing at him than of the cake itself.

The rest of the party Saturday night was fun, although too much wine and birthday cake made for a long day Sunday as we tooled around the Montana countryside and made a visit to the State Fair. I was entirely too hung over to ride any of the rides with Lula, so Grandma gladly stepped in and saved my sorry behind. Monday came and the visit was over all together too quickly, as most highly anticipated visits are, and they flew off to Oklahoma. We were sad to see them go and the tears were difficult to stifle.

Tuesday was a bust as CJ stayed home with a stomach bug and today I have been trying to decide (tearfully, at times) what things I will try to squeeze into my minivan for the return trip to Oklahoma next weekend. I will not be making that journey in the car, though. CJ will be driving the van and I will be flying with the kids. The thought of 27 hours in a van with two children was more than he could bear and he happily coughed up the money for three one way tickets to avoid it. Who am I to argue?

All in all, it has been an exciting and fun-filled week that has both exhilarated and exhausted me at the same time. But those are life's greatest weeks, don't you think?

Picture This

It's 5:35 am and I got up to let LG devour a second 8 ounce bottle for the night. My hubby got up with him the first time, so I actually got to sleep from 10 pm straight on to 4:45! I feel so rested that I held him after he finished until he went limp in my arms. I usually feed and immediately deposit him back into the crib so I can return to bed to steal another hour's sleep before Lula Belle wakes up for the day.

But, like I said, I feel awake. Alive. Blessed.

I stopped by Lula's room to check on her. The night light creates a warm glow in her room. Even in the dimness, you can still make out the shabby sheik bed and dresser lined with picture frames of pinks, blues and greens. You can see the stuffed animal and doll silhouettes from the shelf that lines her entire room. Barbies litter the floor half naked and in contortionist poses. Her miniature dressing table drawer hangs open with strings of beads and plastic earrings draping out of it. The closet doors are open and you can make out every princess outfit in all of their glittery poofiness.

The soft music plays on a continuous loop. A beautiful Asian inspired lullaby CD that makes you think of Geisha and cherry blossoms.

In the bed is a perfect little lump. The lump is snoring.

I stood there listening to her breathe (and snore) for what seemed only to be a few seconds but was actually several minutes. I found myself thinking of the lump and her genuine goodness. A sweetness so pure and real that all the evil and scary things of the world melted away for just a moment. I remembered her goodnight hug. So tight I thought I might not breathe. Loving me because that is all she knows how to do. Then she kisses me so many times that I lose count and says "one kiss is never enough, Mommy".

If you had asked me ten years ago to describe this night, I guarantee you it would not have been this wonderful. I could never have imagined such a blessing. I could never have pictured this.